Runners Batted In

On Sunday I played softball for the first time in two weeks (we were rained out two weeks ago and I was on vacation last weekend).

The team lost both games while I was away on vacation, one of them a mercy. I knew better than to ask what the score was, but it must have been bad for Coach to throw in the towel.

We also lost one of our best hitters, Bear, due to a bad leg. At the rate we get injured, they’re going to be calling our team The Walking Dead by the playoffs.

The team was hungover from Coach’s “Fagette” (known in some circles as a “stag”) the night before at The Fountainhead Pub. None of us wanted to be awake and in jerseys. The conversation in the dugout alternated between praying for rain and wanting to throw up.

I warmed up with Fry as I normally do. My first throw clunked him right in the shin. It sounded like a door knocker; you could hear it from a mile away. I thought, “This better not be how the rest of my day goes.”

As promised Coach wore his little pink veil and garter that he wore at the party for both games. Our first game was against Pacific Sprit. I like playing them, they’re genuinely out there to have fun and it shows. We led most of the game but we lost by a couple of runs in the last inning. It was shame really, considering how well we were playing inspite the sorry state we were in.

I was hitting the ball really well. I got to first every time easily and batted in a few runners. That felt good.

There was an hour between games so we hung out and nursed our hangovers. The park rangers came by to warn us about smoking in the park. I was wondering how long it would take for that to happen. I don’t normally smoke in parks, I actually think it’s one of the few bylaws that make sense, but for whatever reason everyone in WESA does it during games, which is odd considering how nice everyone is.

I don’t endorse smoking cigarettes in the park, but it does save time from running to the sidewalk for a puff. But it’s not worth the $250 fine. One more reason to quit.

The second game almost looked like it was going to be a forfeit. Vancity Lofts was short two players and the coach was trying to recruit spares fifteen minutes before the game. They were the longest fifteen minutes of ours team’s lives. It was like taking an early lead in a game; you can taste the victory and then it’s taken out from under you. In this case the opposing coach found his spares.

It ended up being a good game. I hit in a few more RBIs and was walked a couple of times, however I did swing at a total piece of shit pitch that made me wonder if I’d had an out of body experience and momentarily left the batter’s cage.

I also got yelled at by the first base coach for not running to second on one of my hits. There was a lot of commotion going on at second base and I had already been tagged out running home from third; I could hear the order to run, but I panicked and froze. It happens—heat of battle and all that jazz.

Oh well. I’ll work on my base running next season. As long as I’m getting on base like I promised myself I would at the beginning of the season.

Bomber made an awesome slow-motion catch in the last inning; she kind of hung in the air for a couple of seconds and dropped like a rock once the ball was in her glove, like in 300. It made me wish I had a camera on my ball cap so I could record some of the amazing plays I get to see from home plate..

I ended the day with a total of 6 RBIs. I should play hung over more.




About garpinbc

Author of the forthcoming "Same Love" published by Lorimer, as well as the memoir "Foodsluts at Doll & Penny's Cafe", and the YA short, "Haters Gotta Hate".
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